I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
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