I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
