I want to make a zoo with you.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
