with your own penis?
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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