holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
