The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
