And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
this is an emotional support booty call
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
