I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
