Non-Jews are for practice
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
