Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
