I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
should my penis look like a turkey
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
