No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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