I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
