you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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