NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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