Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
