just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
