his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize
