why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
