I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
