so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
