id be glad to
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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