You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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