she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
