They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
