Can Purell be used as lube?
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
