I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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