never play flip cup with pint glasses
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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