It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I need water and some morals
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
