I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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