Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
