so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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