What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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