i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
