I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
