I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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