It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
