Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
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