With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
