dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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