i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
