But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
