And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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