I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
why didn't you poke me back
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
