i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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