we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
