you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Of course I have a pirate flag
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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