Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
