What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
