i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I puked a lego.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Randomize
